A Day Out of the life. Looking back & Moving Forward - Lifting our Voices.

The Work has only Begun

freedom miranda

 

First trafficked by deception and fraud and then held captive by psychological manipulation, she was in and out of the Life for almost twelve years.  During those years, she would be out of the Life for a stretch of a few years, she was never free from the bondage of evil. And thus kept going back to the Life, unable to break free from the invisible chain.  

Brothels, massage parlors, karaoke bars, and escort services—the Life was her default mode of life that was always pulling her back and also tempting her to fall back to whenever she tried to be her own, whispering to her ears that it was where she really belonged.  Men always abused her and treated her as a sexual object anyway; ‘at least now I’m getting paid for it,’ she told herself, trying to convince herself that it wasn’t too bad and perhaps it was better.

But it was a life of darkness and utter hopelessness.  She thought maybe she would end it all by taking her own life.  And she tried a few times—in vain.

Meanwhile, by God’s grace she had a chance to attend a local church a few times and was even baptized at one point; though, not before long, she drifted away from the church and God and soon relapsed back to the Life.  Nevertheless, God was faithful and one day when she was contemplating a suicide again, God brought to her mind Christ in whose name she was baptized. There is a power in the name of Christ. At least she quit trying to kill herself from then on.  And slowly she began reading the Word of God, and as the seed of the Word took root in her heart, she became convinced of the evil and sinfulness of the Life and resolved to get out of the Life for good. And Christ delivered her out of the Life and redeemed her.  And she accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior.

Not before long, she started serving God at a local church and became involved in anti-trafficking works.  She firmly believes that the inherent dignity and inviolability of a human person lie in the fact that all women and men are created in the image of God.  She also believes that it is only through the power of Christ the bondage of evil can be broken and only by His light the darkness can be overcome. And she is a witness to the power of redemption that is in Christ.  

She is currently studying at a seminary pursuing her M. Div. degree and also helping other women exploited by the sex industry at a non-profit Christian organization.  God has blessed her with a good Christian man with whom she has been married for four years now.

Authored by: Miranda

©Copyright 2018. Jasmine Grace

 

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A Day Out of the life. Looking back & Moving Forward - Lifting our Voices.

Through My Eyes

She walked through the world, seemingly alone. Sunlight reflecting sadness off of her hazel eyes, wind blowing her purple bangs into them. She walks with confidence even though she had none. Unafraid of the world, but afraid of herself and individuals… but not in the way one may think.

She is unafraid of physical danger, and she’s not afraid to die, because, what did she have to lose? No. She is afraid of the emotional danger, afraid of what one may do to her unsuspecting heart, and subsequently afraid to trust herself.

Her heart, the heart of an innocent, no matter how many times it was beaten, it continued to yearn and beg to love the same way.

“Madness,” she thought.

But secretly, even to her, she loved this about herself. But life has shown her not to be happy with herself, and so she hid this self love in the deepest part of her soul, where not even God could touch… or so she thought.

She always longed for companionship, for someone to love that deserved it. Eventually she had that, this new life growing inside of her that deserved all the love she desired to give. That little life saved hers, but it was short lived… before that life could even live, it was lost, and it was in those devastating moments that she realized that even without child, someone who deserved that love was there… herself.

So she shed herself of the people and things that were causing her greatest pain, and walked into her new life, full of love, from others, her God, and herself. And as she let these healthy people in and reopened her heart to God, everyday became easier… easier to smile, easier to be vulnerable, easier to be open, easier to be happy.

And while everyday may bring a new challenge, she also sees that everyday gives her new opportunities to be happy… to love.

And now, she walks through the world, no longer alone and the sunlight that once reflected sadness and pain in her eyes, now reflects hope.

Authored by: Iris, an Amirah Survivor

©Copyright 2018. Jasmine Grace.

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Lifting Our Voices

“A Day Out of the life – Looking Back & Moving Forward, Together”

PTSD is short for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and this an illness that people suffer from. As for me, I struggle with this everyday. There was something traumatic that happened in the lives of those impacted by this when they were younger or even older that was so impactful that it changed their lives. It affects your dreams, and the sounds that are around you. Anything that is out of the ordinary makes you jumpy. As for me, if you enter a room from an angle that I cannot see you in my peripheral vision, that affects me as well. That will cause me anxiety and that is something that I also have to deal with everyday. I have lived at Amirah for over a year now and the doorbell still makes me jump and scream when it goes off as a result of my PTSD.
When it comes to sex trafficking, people really look at it from a movie’s point of view because really that’s the only thing they have to base it off of. The movie Pretty Woman
is the best example I could provide. I wish I could tell you it’s like that, but it is not like that at all. There is no fun involved whatsoever, and once you are doing it regularly your pimp will provide you with some kind of drug. That drug will benefit him because he can control you more, and as for you….it will help you to block the pain. This is not something that you can do and be happy with day after day. You would need something to take your mind to another world while you still had no choice but to continue to do what you’re made to do; to make money for someone else! When you have a pimp, you have no choice but to work and to constantly make money. It never stops and the pain never goes away.
Recovery for me will be a lifelong process because it does not just go away, and sobriety and inner strength are things that you cannot lose sight of. Recovery is hard because you have to think of how long you used and numbed everything that you did not want to feel. Now you get to feel them and look back at those years with a clear mind and see how bad your situation was.                                                                                                I write this having no idea how or why I am alive to be telling people this! When you are lost and trapped in this tunnel, you have no clue how to get out, and you really don’t care so much about yourself or how important you are. I can say that I have been clean and sober for over a year, and it is possible that I survived because I was that girl that did not want to live like that and was looking for that way out. Now I look back at the old me while being in this program and I’m in awe of how far I’ve come. I care a lot about my recovery, but I know that it takes a lot of work and it is not always easy. To me, it is all about putting up a fight and being willing to change your life for the better. Life is like a rollercoaster; you will have your highs and your lows. Even when you fall, it’s about how you pick yourself back up. Life in recovery does not just happen overnight; it might take a year or longer. You need medical insurance, a doctor, a counselor, and you will probably have some medications that you will have to take. Getting back into normal life can be scary and it was for me, but I did it. Now I ride my Ferrari, so to speak, everyday to work.
My goal for 2017 would be to get my life back on track. I want to get a car, and have my own place that I can call home. I want to help as many victims just like me, and let them know that they are not alone, and there are people that do care and want to help. I would love to go on a mission through my church and to help spread the word of God! I pray that this is my year to come where I know what I’m suppose to do with my life. I’m a survivor myself and I’m just getting my toes wet…..I may have been knocked down but I got back up, and I always will. I am grateful for the help I have received, and I’m proud of myself for accepting it.

Authored by: Love

©2018. Jasmine Grace. All Rights Reserved.

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